Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Instagram and such

I haven't posted in a month. Probably because I am always posting pictures on Instagram, and in some way that feels like posting on a blog. It's just so easy. I don't suppose that is a good excuse or a good substitute for really sharing my thoughts or updating people without Instagram on my various comings and goings (assuming any of those people really care or even have the time to care).

I'm 36.5 weeks pregnant and feeling rather uncomfortable, but I don't suppose that is out of the ordinary for the circumstance. I really only complain to Cameron because he's obligated to hear me and feel sorry for me as my husband. I don't really feel like I have the right to complain to anyone else. I recently read an Ensign article written by a woman discussing the challenges of infertility. It was a good reminder for me to remember how greatly I have been blessed. I have a wonderful husband and two awesome little boys. I get to be a mom. That's big.

My boys are pretty awesome even when they drive me crazy. I was beginning to wonder if the insane amount of shooting, sword wielding, play fighting, weapon play, mean man scenarios that seem to occur in my house on a daily basis meant something was wrong with my almost 4 year old, but I know that this is just one of those things that is part of being a boy. I don't get it, but they do. I just have to keep reminding John that we don't "shoot" people or "kill" people even if they are mean. My brother summed it up best when I spoke with him last night about the differences between boys and girls. He said when boys see a stick, they see a sword or a weapon. When a girl sees a stick, she sees a stick and it is only when said boy comes up and tells her it's a sword/weapon that she can begin to see it as one. Have I mentioned how many sticks we have around here?

Grant has about 4 million words and loves being able to communicate. It's so nice. I understand most of what he says, and when I don't he will do whatever he can to get me to understand. Such a blessing. He's a very agreeable and adorable little fellow, and I rather enjoy having him around. He can be feisty sometimes and has recently learned "mine" and "don't hit." Most of his requests end in "now," like "drink, now!" or "hold, now!" or "GiGi, now!" (which means he wants to watch one of the church Bible Videos that have recently been filmed). I try to correct him by asking him to say "drink, please" etc. Sometimes it works.

John couldn't be more excited to have a baby sister. He asks me almost daily, if not multiple times a day "how is your baby doing this time?" He said in his prayer tonight, "Thank you for baby sister." I think he's always wanted a sister. He was never this excited to have Grant around, but I think that will change in the future. He loves his brother even if he has a strange way of showing it. I know this not because he occasionally will come up and give Grant a kiss on the head or a hug or tell him that he loves him or get things for him, but because he totally defended him the other day at the playground. Some other little kid was doing something to Grant and John steps in and says, "Hey, that's my brother." Of course, it's ok for John to pick on Grant, but it is not ok for anyone else to do it. I know how that goes.

So I have 3.5 weeks left, technically. I am hoping she follows in her brother's footsteps and comes 2 weeks early, which would mean 1.5 weeks left. Am I ready? Not a chance. Somehow I still remember the horrors of labor, and I am not really prepared to go through it again - not that I have a choice at this point. Am I ready for the emotional roller coaster, sleepless nights and total upheaval of my semi normal life that will be the next 4-6 months? Nope. But not much to be done about it now except accept the chaos and embrace it. We will all be better for it.


babetta said...

"How is your baby doing this time?" That is the cutest thing ever. I can just hear him saying it. And I love him defending Grant on the playground. Such good little guys. Can't wait for your baby girl to get here, too!

catherine young said...

Hey it's catherine young in panama city Florida! I am so excited for u to have a girl! What's your instgram name? Keep in touch! Do u have a FB?

catherine young said...

Hey Nikki it's catherine young from panama city Florida! I am so excited for u about having a girl! What's your instgram name so I can follow u there! Love ya! Hope everything goes great with the birth!