Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Dear John

I don't know why I should have to remind myself so often that you are only 2, but I do. People kept telling me that once Grant was born you would cease to be my baby and would age quickly. I didn't believe them... until now. Sometimes I forget you are only 2 because you talk to me as if you are older. You walk around our house with your toddler feet, but my eyes see someone so much older. It scares me. The next 17 years seem as but a moment, a mere wrinkle in time.

I knelt by your bed tonight as you fell asleep after a bad dream. I stroked your hair and whispered "I love yous" into your ears. I was nearly overcome with longing for the baby you once were, love for the little wonder you are, and admiration for the fine man you will one day become. Why must it go so quickly?

You drive me crazy sometimes, and I often get frustrated, but I hope you will know more than anything else how I adore you, how sometimes my heart aches for the undivided attention I used to give you, how sometimes all I want in the world is to laugh and snuggle and play legos together without interruption. Your dad says you will always by my baby, and I guess in some ways he is right. But you aren't a baby anymore. Your 2 1/2 seems like 20 to me.

I love you dearly.

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