Another Tuesday post

I can be honest. I have really been struggling with going back to work ever moreso as that fateful day approaches. I have cried a river of tears... every day... as I think about leaving my little boy for most of the day to attend to a job that suddenly has zero meaning. Sure, it's cash in the bank and health insurance (that's the real kicker), but if I had to choose between working for Bank of America or working for the little man, I would most certainly choose the little man. The rewards may not be monetary but his smiles and happiness are priceless.On Sunday, President Monson spoke about being grateful and enjoying the journey. I had prayed before conference that something might speak to me and help me with this monumental decision I was facing. His address made me want to stay home with my son even more. Every day he makes new discoveries and missing even one would be unforgivable. Right now, he is on the verge of rolling over and may finally figure out how to get his thumb in his mouth (even if I don't want him to figure it out I still find myself cheering for him). And then there is the uncertainty of the economy, the stock market plummeting and our jobs no longer necessarily secure, and it makes me think twice about quitting. But as my sweet and faithful husband says, it is a good thing to want to be at home raising our son, and if we put our trust in the Lord and do our part, then He will make up the rest. I am a doubting Thomas, and I don't know why. He has never failed me in the past, so there is no reason He should start now.

I went in to talk to my manager last Friday to have a little heart to heart. I was honest about my feelings and what I needed to do for my family basically saying that unless I could work from home at least twice a week, then I thought it best for them to consider finding someone else who could take my place. I felt good after leaving knowing that I had said and done all I could and it now rested in the Lord's hands. I walked away and said, "Thy will be done." I have not heard back from my manager yet, so my future is still uncertain.
What could be more important than teaching this little man everything he needs to know? Certainly not meeting planning at B of A, as loyal as I am to my team and my job. So if anyone has any bright ideas on how I can earn some extra money working from home, I am all ears... I need to be around this little man as much as possible...